Build A Bridge
by FoxDemonYouko590
Summary: Jeff and Punk's relationship has hit a bump, can they recover and stay together? Or will it all fall apart... Jeff HardyCM Punk. Slash. Finished.
1. xx 01

FoxDemonYouko590: I realize there are not many CM Punk/Jeff Hardy slash fics…so now I am on a mission to actually write one…This may be one of those stories where I never update but…eventually! How many times have you heard that?

Timeline: After WM 23 Money in the Bank Match

* * *

I walked through the curtain after the grueling, but exciting match. I was exhausted, my back hurt, and now I had to go talk to Phil…which was the last thing I wanted to do, even if I knew I HAD to. Before Wrestlemania started Phil and I had a fight, a huge one…and the one I'm willing to admit, was the worst. It was my fault this time and it all began with my…jealousy I suppose..but not exactly. I guess you can call it a lovers quarrel that didn't end up with a happy ending. He really took it to heart and it hurt him..and I'm on a mission to undo that.

I come out of my comatose state and sigh despairingly as I make my way through the backstage.

Punk and I's relationship has had a lot of ups and downs because of everything that's happened in the past. I'm the one willing to look behind that though and he's not. Him being that whole straightedge thing and me…with my problems…you wouldn't exactly think we'd be the best of pairs.

And trust me, we're not. I get so angry with him when he brings up stuff from years ago and then in my own blind fury I mention his dad…and that is not the right thing to do when talking with CM Punk. Man, he can really punch you hard.

I open the door to the locker room and am greeted by Matt. "Hey bro, you ok? That bump must've taken a lot outta you." I chuckle slightly…oh yeh, but it's not just the bump.

I am so proud of Phil right now, I mean it was his first Wrestlemania ever! His performance was awesome and I'm so happy right now…but I can't bring myself to talk to him. I'm like the cowardly lion of WWE…and everyone in the damn locker room knows it.

"Yeh, I'm fine…" I pause and run my hand through my hair, "Did you happen to see Phil anywhere?" He looks at me funny and shakes his head no. "He and I had another fight, a bad one." Matt frowns and I give him the 'don't be a smartass' look. "How bad? You start fightin'?" I nod my head and walk over to my bag. "I'm just gonna go…I'll talk to ya later bro. I gotta find him…"

I put my hair into a pony tail, grab my bag and walk out of the locker room and towards Phils', which was one the other side of the building. At least I had some time to think about what I was going to say.

Our relationship is so unstable sometimes, we've only been dating for a couple months and yet I feel like I've been married and we're on the verge of divorce. I love him, I absolutely know that, but I can't stand him sometimes! I know when he sees me drinking that he gets that look in his eyes and he sees his dad. Maybe I'm not the right person for him, maybe I don't deserve him, but I want to. I keep thinking he doesn't even love me. What's the point of staying in a relationship with no love?

I reach the locker room and walk in silently to see if Punk's in there, and he is. Alone in the corner, secluded from the rest of the guys. I tried to be as stealthy as possible but RVD noticed me, and I cursed myself.

"Hey Jeff! That spot was amazing!" I smile and say thanks and make my way over to Punk. "Go away Jeff.." He catches me off guard and I'm startled for a second, even though I knew he'd probably say something like that. "Phil..Just listen to me for one second..." I grab his hand but he pulls back and bitch slaps me. "Don't touch me."

By now we were definitely getting some attention and all the guys were watching us. "I deserved that..." "I told you not to talk to me Jeff and I meant it."

"I just wanted to congratulate you...you did a good job tonight." He looks surprised for an instant and he gets that cocky grin on. "Well...thanks." I start to walk out of the locker room but am stopped by his hand grabbing my arm, quite forcefully I might add. "I have to think about us Jeff. I'll call you later, okay?" I smile slightly and sigh, realizing that he probably won't want anything to do with me anymore. I walk out of the locker room with all the stares dissipating.

I leaned up against the wall, closed my eyes for a minute, then started to walk back to the hotel which wasn't far. Once I got there I pounced on the bed and started to drift off to sleep. I really needed to shower but I was way too sore and I doubt that I could stand up straight that long. I feel uncomfortable in the bed without Punk by my side...but I might have to face the grim reality that it may stay this way.

I gave up everything for you Phil...I hope you can realize this.

* * *

I woke up a little bit later to the bed moving downward and I could feel someone crawl next to me. I feel fingers running through my hair and I can't help but open my eyes and smile.

"Punkers..." I said sleepily, "why'd you come back?" I heard him laugh. "I was too chickenshit to call you and I'm much better at face to face confrontation." I sit up slowly and rest my head on his shoulder. "Let's hope there's no fightin' this time...does this mean you forgive me?" "Not forgive, but I'm willing to talk it over with you..."

"Aiight, but can we go back to bed? I'm freakin' tired." I lied back down on the bed and felt him lie down too and put and arm around my waist. "I'm way ahead of you, don't worry we'll talk tomorrow...or today..whatever." I smiled, closed my eyes, and reveled in the fact that he was back..

I love CM Punk.

* * *

If you have any ideas/suggestions for next chapter then tell me, and I'll consider it. 


	2. xx 02

FoxDemonYouko590: I am very disappointed about the storyline they are putting CM Punk in…I think it's really stupid to make him a heel…although he is a really good one…well no matter what, it's not like I can change anything…but I'll try to make the story as realistic as I possibly can. This may contain spoilers if you haven't watched RAW/ECW/SD! For the last two weeks. Oh and the Hardyz book 'Exist 2 Inspire' helped me with all the detailed stuff.

A/N: Thanks SRC, I completely agree with you about the slash on this site…and people write what they want to happen but have no plot to it whatsoever! Anyway….

* * *

Chapter 2

I woke up to cold air floating around the hotel room and I immediately got goose bumps…who the hell opened the window?! Jeez…it's cold out. I notice that Jeff isn't in the bed and I hear the shower running. I sigh, did I do the right thing by coming back to him? I know this is both of our faults and we have very short tempers…but I don't know if I can handle staying with him…

I remember the time when we first met, it was actually a couple years ago when I was in TNA and with Raven in the Gathering. Jeff was just coming out of the WWE and working at random shows. That was also the time when he had that brutal match with Krazy K and Joey Matthews in ROH…man, he got booed out of the building.

One thing about ROH, is that the fans won't hold back anything they feel and they express it. I actually had a fan tell me to die, he seriously went on for about one minute on how I should die and I was a loser.

Anyway, I met Jeff through Raven because they had a match or two in the WWE. First I thought that he was just another junkie with an attitude problem and no respect, but then we hung out a few times and I realized that he's just…different. He has a different view on life and he truly does not care about impressing people. He told me once that he missed a house show just because his raccoon ran away. Well, I think it was a raccoon…(A/N: I think it died by now but it's name was Imagi.)

After he left WWE, I lost contact with him for a few months, I was busy with ROH and he just needed time off for his home life. Then one day Scott called me and told me that Jeff was coming to TNA and I got excited for him…so I gave him a call.

I heard Jeff open the bathroom door and walk over slowly. Damn, his back still must hurt. "Hey baby…" He said smoothly. "Mmm…hey." I repeated back sleepily. "You gotta match tonight?" I asked, even though I knew he did. Vince thinks Jeff gives the fans a breath of fresh air…and they react every time they hear his music. But the same thing goes for me….at least right now until I go heel.

"Yeah, Matt and I are gonna win the tag team titles." I wasn't all that surprised since I knew that Shawn and Cena had to get rid of them. "That's great. First tag titles since you came back." He smiled and started to get dressed. "Did I tell you that Vince wants me to team up with the New Breed? I'm gonna start being a heel. I can't wait." He laughed almost bitterly at what I said.

"You actually want to be one? I mean you were in ROH, but WWE is a different story...everyone boo's and their are way more people. But I really wouldn't know what it's be like to be heel." I got off the bed and walked over to him. "Yeah pretty boy babyface." He was quiet for a few minutes, which made me feel awkward.

"Are we just gonna dance around the fact that we really need to talk?" I wasn't exactly trying to...alright I was... "I wasn't dancing around shit Jeff. So if you wanna talk, then talk." He sat down in the chair next to the window and watched the birds on the tree next to it. "You know that I'm sorry and I would let you go if you wanted to leave. But I really care for you Phil, it's just hard sometimes. Our personalities are so far apart, but there's something about you that I haven't been able to find in anyone," he stopped and sighed, "This sounds so corny but I really love you Punk and I don't know if there's anything I can do to change your mind about me."

"I don't want you to change Jeff, I just think we should take a break and take time to reevaluate our relationship. We are going to have to change something if we want this to work, and I really want it to." I knew this is what I had to do if I wanted anything to with Jeff...he is a remarkable man with an imagination that's always running wild and I love him so much.

I remember the time when I first saw him again after Scott called me, it was the ECW before Survivor Series when the Hardy Boyz teamed up again. We talked for awhile back stage but it really wasn't much, he told me he was glad that I'm in WWE now and he was proud. The next time I saw him was at Survivor Series, and that was when we really started talking more and got to know each other personally. About a week after we slowly started to build a relationship and now this is where we're at. I look back and I think that maybe it all happened to fast and something went wrong.

Maybe we're just too different.

"So you just want to give up Punk?" "No. Why don't we just have a week to ourselves? I'll meet you next Tuesday at ECW/Smackdown! And then we'll see if anything's changed." It wasn't the greatest of ideas but it was at least a start.

"I don't think staying away from you is going to do much...but if you want to try it then fine." Jeff got up and walked over to me, staring me right into the eyes. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

He pulled away and smiled sadly. "I'll talk to you in a week Phil."

"Yeah you too Jeff." I said softly and thought, 'Ugh, what did I do to deserve this mess?'

Jeff got his bags together and left the hotel room and I was left thinking if this was a huge mistake or if it will help.

I remember the first time we kissed, it was at the December to Dismember show and it was really just a hit-or-miss thing, I went for it and kissed him. It wasn't as spectacular as I wanted it to be, but it was horrible either. I thought he would be really upset that I did it, but he wasn't. He was cool about and we started officially dating that night. I was so happy that night and I wonder why it didn't stay that way...

I love you Jeffrey Nero Hardy.

* * *

Bleh, I didn't accomplish everything I wanted to yet, but I'm getting there. The next chapter will be a time line of a whole week. Please review, it gives me confidence. 


	3. xx 03

FoxDemonYouko590: Everything that happened during the week is going to be during this chapter…so I might put Jeff and Phil's POVs in it.

Thank you to my reviewers! And now that I look at Punk's old matches in ROH...he's almost a good of a heel as Edge is...

* * *

This week had been hell for me. I traveled with Matt and Shane the whole time…man we haven't done that in years. It started out okay at first but then after Wednesday, I was an emotion wreck. I tried not to show it much but Matt could tell.

On Monday we won the World Tag Team titles, I was extremely happy since it was the first time in years that Matt and I had been champions together. Once it was down to the Hardys versus Cade and Murdoch…everyone knew we were going to win. After that we met with the fans, which was an added bonus...I love them and they love me. And I'm not trying to sound egotistical…I feed off of the fans energy and they get so hyped up once they hear my music. They know that it's going to be entertaining, and that's what we're going for.

Once we got to the hotel the mood just changed. Matt and I had a serious talk about Punk and I. I knew he was in his whole big brother mood then and I hated it. I didn't want him talking to me like I was a kid again. I needed it though because I knew that to fix this whole mess than we need to think about everything.

On Tuesday we had to travel to somewhere…I really can't remember but Matt and I had matches on Smackdown! And I knew Punk had one on ECW…which meant that we were in the same building together. Knowing that was tough because I had to keep away from him…which I really didn't want to do. So I had my match with Kennedy and the crowd was bummed about my loss but I didn't really care. Matt had his against "King" Booker so his win made up for my loss and everything was peachy.

For the next couple of nights we had some house shows and I was just emotionally drained. I had no one to talk to and my rock was gone. I got drunk one night and Matt told me that I was crying like a baby the entire night…I was glad I can't remember that.

I had to call Beth that day cause she knows what I'm going through...considering we just went through it. She realized that I wasn't the same after I came back to the WWE...and she knew it was time for a change hence the reason why we broke up. That affected her way more than me because she put her soul into our relationship and I know my heart wasn't entirely in it. We ending it mutually and we're best friends right now which I'm glad because I don't know what I'd do without her support.

Then it came time for Monday and we had a match against Shelton and Haas. It was just a regular match with nothing that special. We also found out we were going to face Cade and Murdoch at Backlash…man that's gonna be tough cause their style is way different than ours.

I woke up this morning so happy. I knew that I was gonna act like a giddy school girl all day long but that didn't matter. I got out of bed and pounced into Matts' and started shaking him awake…

"Matthew! I have a feeling today is going to be an amazing day!" He threw a pillow at me and it hit me straight in the face and knocked me off the bed.

"Goddamnit Jeff…go away…What time is it?" I smiled at his hate for the morning. "Uh…9 I think…"

I think I badgered him to get on the road for an hour after that. We only had to go from Bridgeport to Providence so it wasn't that big of a drive. Once we were all ready to leave we found Shane and got on the road…

All I thought in my mind was 'Yippee!'

* * *

It had been a hellacious week for me. I missed Jeff a lot but I knew that tonight was when we make the final decision. I keep telling myself that I have to be in control of this relationship all the time and I know that's not the truth. Just because Jeff had his demons doesn't mean he still does. This has to be an equal relationship…I've always had this intuition to take charge though, maybe it's because of the way I grew up…and always having to grow up faster than everyone else.

I hear my phone ring and see that it's Matt and I look at it kinda funny…If anyone was around me they'd probably think I'm a weirdo but why would Matt call me?

"Hello?"

"Ah hey Punk! I just wanna know where you wanna meet us. We're 'bout 5 minutes from the hotel."

"Um, just meet in the lobby…I'm gonna be there soon…I kinda got sidetracked cuz I had a flat but no worries."

"Ahh that sucks. Anyway we'll talk to ya soon…" I say goodbye and hang up. That was really awkward but oh well. My heart dropped when I realized I'd be seeing Jeff soon…I can imagine the way he is right now and I'm surprised he didn't tear the phone away from his brother. I sigh and make my way into Providence…now all I have to do is find my way to the hotel…This is a time when you need a good navigator.

I eventually, and by eventually I mean 15 minutes later, found myself in the lobby of the hotel. I saw Jeff and immediately walked over to him, he had his back towards me so I wrapped my arms around him. He jumped a little and turned around with a huge smile plastering his face.

"Phil!!!" I hugged him tightly and laughed. "Hey Jeffro!"

"C'mon let's go upstairs and talk." I smirk and grab his hand, waving at Matt with my free one. "So…how have you been?" "I'm better now…" he wrapped his arm around his shoulder and held me tight. "I missed you so much Punkers." I laughed. "I missed you too, but you know we still need to talk." He led me into his hotel room and onto the bed.

"You're really a mood killer aren't you?" I stick my tongue out at him and smile. The silence is awkward and I can't stand making no conversation...so why not spice it up a little?

"I love you Jeff…" And that's all it took...He looked at me weirdly and kissed me. "What was that look all about?" I say apprehensively. "You haven't told me you loved me in weeks…and now all of a sudden you say it…I think I have a right to look surprised." I laughed and kissed him. "I want to stay with you Jeffy. You're the first person I've ever really fallen in love with. I don't want to ruin this because we both have attitudes…"

"We're complete opposites...of course we're gonna fight...alot. I'll try though...but now I just want to snuggle..." Okay, now it was my turn to look at him weirdly. I failed at trying to look at him with a straight face and burst out laughing. "Never...ever say...snuggle again..." I covered my face with my Misfits hat and tried to regain my composure...

"Don't cover your face, as James Blunt says, You're Beautiful!!" I shook my head in disbelief and started laughing again...he actually did the whole high pitched voice thing too... "I think you should stick to Pearl Jam and heavy metal...and wow..." He squeaked and hugged me tightly. "I love you Punkers!" I have never seen him this happy before...but I smile back and kiss him.

"Aiight I think it's time we do something more productive than talking." Man he grinned like the Cheshire Cat...

* * *

I woke up about an hour later and started to get dressed to go to the arena. I kissed Jeff's forehead and smiled...This is probably the happiest we've ever been and I'm looking forward to keeping it this way.

I throw on a pair of jeans and my famous straightedge t-shirt and Misfits hat then get my stuff and leave.

* * *

I was listening to some of our new Peroxwhy?gen tracks when I heard the hotel room open and close quietly. I've been so busy today getting hyped up to ask Punk if he wanted to come to Cameron for a couple of days until we have to leave for our European tour. He hasn't been to my house before and I was anxious to see if he wanted to stay...because ECW and RAW are touring together anyway.

"Hey Jeff...? You 'wake?" I hear him say exhaustedly. Tonight was his whole turning heel thing...

"Yeah babe. I'm over by the window." He set his bag down and walked over to me like a zombie. I pat my lap to signal for him to sit and his does without complaint.

"I'm dead tired..." He mumbled into my sweater...

"Yeah yeah. At least you got the couple days off..." I paused for a moment as he looked at me like he was expecting me to continue. "Speaking of which...I was wonderin' if ya wanted to come home with me for those days."

"Really? Tha'd be intr'sting..." I could barely catch what he said so I lifted him up and lied him down on the bed... "Aiight, we'll talk tomorrow. Sleep now."

* * *

FoxDemonYouko590: I hate this chapter...And I'm going to have to finish the next one so I don't forget where they're touring and what city and stuff...I'm not exactly sure how house shows work and stuff so I'm guessing...I hate when I do that...cause I don't want to look like an idiot... 


	4. xx 04

FoxDemonYouko590: Meh….next chapter….Thanks for the reviews though! And I'm trying to do my best to show the differences between them….I'm gonna have to skip a few days in between since I'm behind in the European tour...and my mind can not remember anything...

* * *

When I woke up the next morning, I was barely able to breath. Both figuratively and literally. I can't believe Punk stayed with me…and he was sleeping almost completely on top of me…which I didn't mind but it was very uncomfortable. I shook him awake slowly and he opened his eyes.

"Wuz up?" he asks, barely awake.

"You're kinda sleepin' on top of me." He looks around groggily and moves off of me only to roll right onto the floor. I hear a big 'thud' and chuckled. "Smooth move…"

"Yeh…at least I got the blankets…" I roll over to his side of the bed and rip them off of him. "Hey! Dude that was not cool…" I smirk and sit up, rubbing my hand over my face and yawning.

"We'll get up. We're finally off and I don't want to spend it in bed all day." He climbs into bed and sits in my lap.

"Aww why not? I bet I could convince you." I sigh and shake my head.

"'Cuz I'm not some sex crazed animal, k?" Well, it's true…I'm not. I don't think a relationship should be based solely on sex…but I'm not saying it's not good…And…how the hell did I start rambling on about this?

"Ey Jeffro?" I'm startled by him speaking and look at him strangely. "Did ya say something 'bout goin' to Cameron with ya the next couple of days?" I forgot about that! Damn…

I smiled and ruffle his hair, "Yeah babe. I did. Do ya wanna or do ya wanna go home to Chicago?" I was really hoping he wanted to come with me because it'd be the first time he got to see my hometown…even though there's not much to see.

"Well I see no reason not to. I mean the only thing in Chicago is my family…but eh…and Cabana…which he might be a lil' mad about but oh well." I can see the frustration on his face when he talks about Colt…but there isn't much I can do about that. (A/N: There's nothing going on between them, I just needed another reason...)

"So that's a yes I presume?" He smiles and nods his head. I grab him and hug him tight with a huge smile on my face. "Yay!" I totally sound like a girl but oh well. "We're gonna be leavin' soon so get ready!" I jump off the bed and start to get dressed as Punk is doing the same thing...only a lot slower.

"Fuck the mornins man...they suck." I chuckle a bit but don't say anything...I'm just really anxious to get home now.

* * *

I woke Punk up as I turned onto the road going to my house, it had felt like a long flight, but in reality it wasn't. It's been about seven months since me coming back and I'm still not completely back into the routine. Sometimes I wished I never came back but then I wouldn't have met Punk. I grin as I see Neroameee standing tall above my studio...man that's one thing that's getting me psyched; I get to work on my art.

"Are we there yet?" I hear him whine and I slap him gently.

"We're here. Get your ass up and get outta the car. Stop whining." I hear him grumble but I don't say anything.

I walk up the door, put the key in and turn the light switch on...and my house comes alive. "Man...you told me you liked fake plants...but dude! It's like a forest in here." He acts so shocked, but what can I tell ya? It's just me.

"Yeah I know. You can put your bags down on the couch over there. I gotta call Matt and Shannon real quick." He nods silently with a little 'Mhm' and I walk into the kitchen. I noticed that there were about 80 missed calls and I laughed at how fans got my number...cuz I've changed it God knows how many times. "Friggin stalkers..." I mumble and I insert Matt's number into my cell.

I get his voicemail and leave a message telling him I'm home and stuff. I walk back into the living room and Phil's lookin' at all the different statues I have. "You thirsty babe?" I ask quietly, trying not to disturb him.

"Nah, I'm good. Your house is so cool. No wonder why you miss this place all the time." I come up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist.

"Mmhmm. It's all those crazy voices in my head tellin' me what ta do...ya know?" He chuckles and shakes his head.

"I don't have voices in my head."

"Yeh, well...Matt, Shane, and Shannon are gonna come by tomorrow if ya don't mind."

"Nope. Sounds like fun." I sigh, knowing he wasn't all too thrilled.

"Don't worry we'll have our alone time...I just haven't hung out with Shan in awhile. They're not gonna be here that long anyway...gotta kick their asses out sometime." I hear him laugh.

"Aiight, it's cool," he turns around and kisses me lightly, "as long as tonight is fun." I smirk.

"This way baby." I say smoothly and lead him down the hall.

* * *

I sat on the plane with Punk sleeping on me on one side and Matt freakin snoring on the other...Great now's a time when I can't fall asleep...We are going to Milan for RAW on Monday and I'm psyched. Cameron was really fun, I got to hang out with Shannon on Thursday and then we had to leave on Friday. Phil said he had a good time too, which made me happy. 'Cause that was the whole point of him going there. He got to meet my dad too, which he said was great cuz he got to meet the 'brains behind the crazy'...whatever that means.

We had a couple of house shows on Saturday and Sunday and ECW is touring with RAW so we got to stay together, which of course is amazing. Italy is so exciting and the crowd pops so easily. I love their soccer chant too, that's pretty cool. I'm glad I got back into the business, cause if I didn't then I'd probably of never come to Italy.

Punk moves his hand and runs it down my stomach slowly as I smile slightly. And the only thing I'm thinking at that moment is how cute he is and how lucky I am. "I love ya Punkers...you remember that." I whisper into his ear but he doesn't move.

It's amazing how sappy I've become, I never used to be this way and now that I'm with Phil...everything has changed. I'm more open about my feelings...I'm so different from the loner I used to be.

Still, people call me the 'emo' kid...even though I have NO idea what that means...I don't even think they do either. It's weird, I paint my nails, and dye my hair and suddenly...I'm categorized. But Punk doesn't do that...maybe it's cause that's probably the only thing that's the same about us.

I hear the flight attendant go on about how we're landing soon and I wake Matt and Phil up...damn me being the pillow. "We're here boys...wakey wakey."

I hear them grumble and sit up but Phil fails and collapses on me. It hasn't really bothered me that much but I notice he's always tired lately. I don't think about it much and I'll talk to him later 'bout it.

"C'mon baby...get up. We're in freakin' Milan, Italy!" He smiles and kisses my cheek.

I feel like I'm a bird and I could fly. I've got my brother and my boyfriend...and no one is going to take them away...

* * *

Next chapter up soon...Punk's going to explain more about the fight and stuff...this story isn't going to end soon and everything will be explained...so no worries! 


	5. xx 05

FoxDemonYouko590: This European tour is kicking my butt…I have to skip a lot of time...so bare with me! I hate doing that but I've had a lot of stuff to do lately…Scott Colton is Colt Cabana if you didn't already know that. There might be some Scott Levy (Raven) references too…I won't make it too confusing….maybe.

* * *

We had our Milan show and I had a match against Lance Cade. I lost but I'm not gonna take it too personally. We've been all over Italy the last couple of days and now we've got to go to Germany, the UK and France…I don't know how I'm gonna do it. Punk and I have gotten lucky cause our shows are mostly in the same places. I've met a lot of cool fans too and they've given me some amazing stuff.

I have to admit that I really do want to get back home though…Phil has been talking to Scott lately and he misses him a lot. They haven't seen each other in awhile and I hate seeing Punk depressed. I can tell when he's thinking about Scott, but I can understand. They're like brothers and if I was away from Matt that long, I don't know what I'd do.

I opened the door to our hotel room and fling my bag somewhere. I see Punk lying on the bed with his hands over his head. I frown and sit on the floor next to him. "What's wrong?" I sigh when he doesn't answer me. "C'mon what's wrong?"

"I dunno really…I'm just…I know I should be happy about everything…but…arrghh!" He startled me when he got angry and I crawled up on the bed on top of him.

"Baby calm down. I hate seein' ya like this. Anything I can do?" He smiled slightly, and kissed me. "Uhh…anything else? I mean besides sex, 'cause I dunno if I'm up to that…" I laugh inwardly at my own words…

He smiles even more and chuckles. "Wanna go out somewhere? Where are Matt and everyone else?"

"Uhm…I'm not sure…I left after my match but he should be around here somewhere. Erm…wanna go look?" He nodded and I got off of him. "I'm worried about you, I hope you know." I murmur softly.

"Yeah well don't." I was surprised at his tone and shot my head up…giving him a questioning look.

"What do you mean don't? I'm not allowed to worry about you now?! Sorry, maybe I just won't care at all." I knew where this was going and it wasn't gonna be pretty. Damn us stubborn people…

"Hmph, whatever. I'm going downstairs; you do whatever the hell you do nowadays." I grabbed his wrist to try and stop him but he swatted me away.

"Have fun…" I muttered sarcastically as I watched him slam the hotel room door. Maybe if you spent some time with me, then you'd know what I do…

I went onto the balcony of the room and sat down. Might as well sit and think 'cause I don't have anything else to do.

"Maybe you were right Punk…maybe we aren't made for each other…" I silently say to no one.

* * *

I walked to the elevator with my head bowed in shame, even after we promised each other…these little petty fights are going to happen no matter what. I've had so much on my mind though, I can't really concentrate. The problem is with Scott, not Cabana, I mean Raven. I haven't heard from him in about a year and all of a sudden he calls me. This did happen once before but it was only to tell me about Jeff.

This call scared me. I could barely understand what he was saying because he was so drugged up. I knew that he stopped the drugs after his ECW/WCW days and it was mind blowing to hear him like this. I was frightened by the way he was talking; he went on about how life was cruel and how tragedy will occur in everyone's life.

It was almost like he was possessed. I know, break out the Twilight Zone music, but that's what it felt like. I definitely believe in the supernatural and ghosts but I've never had a real personal account of it. I doubt this was like Ghost Hunters or something, but it was like he was giving me a message of what is to come. I hate being distant to Jeff, but now I can't help it and I feel like if I tell him, he'll laugh. I know he wouldn't though.

Another thing is that Scotty and Rob (RVD) were hanging out together one day and Rob just started going off about Jeff and the 'early' days. I know that they had this whole saga thing, but now I don't feel comfortable alone with Jeff; which is just stupid because I trust him with my life.

I get off the elevator and see Matt and Shane in the lobby. They looked at me and started to walk over. "Hey Punk! Where's Jeff?" I silently curse myself, not wanting to answer them.

"We…uhm…had a fight. He's up in the room." Matt gives me a serious look and I sigh. "I know I should talk to him…"

"Yes, you should. I'm not about to see my brother depressed 'cause of some stuck up punk." I open my mouth to protest, but stop after I see him smile. "I'm just kiddin'. You need to talk to him though…"

I nod and walk out the hotel door, not really knowing where I'm going to go.

* * *

I came back a few hours later and open up the hotel room door. I expect to see Jeff asleep in bed, but I don't. I feel a cool breeze coming from door and see him sitting out there. I walk out there and kneel next to him, trying to shake him awake.

"Jeff baby, wake up." I shake him a little harder and he picks his head up slowly, running his hand through his hair.

"Man, what time is it? Why am I outside?" I smile and hug him tightly.

"I dunno, I was hope you'd tell me that. Come on; let's go inside before you get hypothermia." I help him up and we walk into the room. "Sit on the bed." He sits down lazily and wrap his black skull hoodie over him. I know I shouldn't, but I pity him. He's been through so much shit the last couple of years, I don't know how he survived it, and to think that it's still not over. No…never over, not until he leaves the wrestling world forever; which won't be soon if I have a say in it.

"So why'd ya come back this time? I thought ya wouldn't wanna see me again." I let out a breath and look up at him.

"I need to tell you something. There's been a reason why I've been so moody lately…I just dunno how to tell you. You might laugh…" He looks at me with surprise in his eyes.

"Why would I laugh at you? I'd never do that," he pats the bed next to him, "Come here. I got time ta listen." I walk over and sit next to him, laying my head on his shoulder, and beginning from the phone call.

* * *

"That stupid bitch! I can't believe Rob…I mean what the fuck? I haven't even talked to him in years and all of a sudden he wants to start shit with me?" I shake my head and let out a breath of air I've been holding for sometime now. I was relieved Jeff wasn't mad at me. "Now I can tell why you've been so tense around me…" he stops and looks at me, "you alright baby?"

I smile a little but it turns into a small frown as I think about what's going to happen next; he notices this and hugs me tighter, kissing the top of my head.

"I'm sorry, I should've told you sooner but I didn't know how…" I said. He sighs and shakes his head with a frown clear on his disgruntled face.

"I know it's not ya fault Punkers. I dun' blame you…there's something I should've told you though. Right before I left the WWE, Rob and I sorta had this thing and I knew that as soon as we started it, it wasn't gonna end pretty. He was so different and man, he was nothin' like I expected. He would always smoke pot and get drunk and I couldn't stand him afta awhile. I caught him cheatin' on me with Sabu. I freaked out at him and he started goin' off on me about how worthless I was and that I'd always be worthless if I didn't go back ta him," I opened my mouth to say something but he cut me off and kept going, "I didn't of course. I think he's the reason I am the way I am ta ya. I feel like if I let you be the one who runs this relationship then that'd happen to me…"

I try to say something but nothing comes out. I'm utterly speechless. I feel pity and sadness then anger; angry at the fact that Rob would ever do something like that to my Jeff. I feel him put his arms around me and rest his head on my shoulder. "Do you think that's why Scotty's all uptight and stuff…maybe Rob wants you back?" I mumbled softly.

"Wouldn' matter, I got who I want." Such a little sentence, with all I've ever wanted to hear in it. "C'mon let's go ta bed." I nod and crawl into bed, him holding me tightly.

-Flashback-

We're in a hotel room in Columbus, Ohio and Jeff was screamin' at me..Why? I have no clue but he was.

(A/N: Jeff may be out of character, but I need to get it done) "Ya know what Punk!? You need to open your mind a lil' more! Your father might have been right ta beat ya! You're a no good, spoiled brat!"

I punched him so hard that my hand hurt like a bitch. I was disappointed in him, that he would say something like that to me. Disappointed in the fact that another person I loved hurt me. I wasn't going to cry, but I wanted to kill him.

Instead I walked away and left the room, not really thinking I was coming back.

And I didn't. I (thankfully) had to leave that night for an ECW show and I didn't have to see Jeff until Sunday. We didn't even talk, and that was perfectly fine for me. He seemed definitely out of it though, fidgeting and nervous, he said he wanted to apologize but I didn't let him.

I eventually talked to him again; I still didn't let him see that I was that upset over it though. I probably never will, but he knew and still regrets it.

Remember, forgive not forget.

-End-

* * *

We are finally back in the states, our European Tour was crazy insane (my new word, that Jeff really likes). London was probably the best, it was really fun and I can't wait to go back in October. We're in Atlanta, Georgia now getting ready for Jeff and Matt's match against Cade and Murdoch. They're psyched and I can tell. Jeff's on the phone with Shannon telling him to take care of Liger and that he'll be home soon. I love to see a strong friendship like that, and I immediately think of Scott. We're still best friends, but things have changed since I started datin' Jeff. I know that Scott liked me, but I didn't feel the same way. He acted all weird for awhile, then stopped and I couldn't figure it out. Ever since then we haven't been as close, but we still talk.

Anyway, Jeff and I love each other. We don't need to tell each other and hopefully, we will stay together for a long time

* * *

FoxDemonYouko: This took me awhile, but the last two weeks were really hectic. I don't know when the next chapter will be done. 


	6. xx 06

FoxDemonYouko590: This one's gonna be a good one.

Kirby Mack is Krazy K for those who don't know. He works for AWA.

Nelson Erazo is Homicide. He works for TNA.

Joe is Samoa Joe. He works for TNA.

Thanks to Gnarls Barkley for his awesome song.

* * *

I heard 'Spongebob Squarepants' playing faintly as I woke up. I'm not sure why it was on and I don't want to know why Punk was watching it, but he was…I feel around his side of the bed and squeeze one of his limbs. I'm not sure which one I touched until I heard him say 'ow' and swat my hand away. I chuckle slightly and bury my head back into the pillow. 

"That was my thigh asshole." I don't even try to come up with a smart ass comment; there are just things you do not want to say to Phil.

"Phillip…" I whine remorseless. I feel a pillow pound into the back of my head and sit up slowly. "That hurt you fucker." He grins at me and sticks his tongue out. I swear he's such a kid sometimes. People say I'm the goofy one, but they never see the side of Punk I see….and that wasn't meant sexually either.

"What you wanna do today babe? We got like 1 hour whoop de doo." Sarcasm of the soul, one of things we wrestlers hold dear. I stand up and stretch realizing that my back was all of sudden, killing me.

"Iunno…you and Mattie gonna be traveling together? Cuz I'm gonna be goin' to house shows alone till Friday…I think. I haven't been payin' attention to Vince that much." He laughs and shakes his head in amusement.

"I'm amazed by you. You make up your own schedule…how do ya do it?" I walk up behind him and lay my head on his back.

"I just go with the flow, I dun care what's gonna happen later cuz ya gotta live for the moment, righ? That's was all those years were for, livin' and dyin' for a business ya no longer cared about." He turns around and I smile at him as he moves a few stray hairs out of my face.

"Don't talk like that, I dun like when you do that."

"And yet, do you remember ROH? Yeah, that's what I thought." I dunno why I said that, and I really had no point. It shut him up at least.

"No, sorry I don't. I was too busy getting' taped to the ring and havin' beer forced down my throat."

Until I jinxed it, of course.

"And you agreed to it." I mumbled quietly, as I fumbled around with my clothes. "I dun wanna spend the next 2 hours arguing with you." We both got ready with the awkward silence still drenching us, which annoyed me to hell. I put a blue bandana in my hair, placed my bag on my shoulder, and walked outta this hotel with Punkers at my side. I grabbed his hand and kissed it quickly.

"Love you. Talk to ya soon babe." He smiles and kisses me.

"You too." He pulls away and walks towards the door. I see Matt and walk towards him and Shane.

"Ey, Mattie. Have ya talked to Shan or Kirby lately? I need ta know how Liger's doin'." I worry about him so much, I hate when I'm not around him.

"I talked to Shannon this morning…but didn't you just talk to Shannon a couple days ago? I doubt he'll let him die Jeff." I shake my head and chuckle to myself. I hope Shan and Krazy don't let him die or there will be hell to pay. I'm so looking forward to going home this weekend. I finally get two days off and I get to calm down a little bit. I'm gonna get to hang out with Shanny! Yay!

I have a goofy smile spread wide on my face and Matt looks at me weird. "You take care of my boyfriend now, ya hear?" He nods, and then ignores me to talk to Shane. What a wonderful brother, right? I start walking towards my car and head to Nashville,TN, which is only a few hours away.

It's about half way through the ride and I'm getting bored. I turn on the radio and tune it to some stupid radio station; after a little while of absolute crap this gnarly song called Crazy by some dude comes on. I start to get the beat and start to drum on my legs. I start to sing it, even though I don't even know the words.

_/Well, I think you're crazy  
I think you're crazy  
I think you're crazy  
Just like me/_

_/My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb  
And all I remember is thinking, I want to be like them  
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun  
And it's no coincidence I've come  
And I can die when I'm done/_

When the song finishes I relax my head against the seat and continue driving for 5 minutes until my cell phone rings. It says 'Unknown' so I ignore it until it rings again. I really hate cell phones and I'm starting to hate my brother for getting me one. I apprehensively pick it up and say a sweet hello into it…

And there's absolutely no one there…until…

"Hey Jeffy…surprised to hear from me?" To tell you the truth, I wasn't. With all the bullshit with him recently I was expecting a call from him, just not this soon. Rob has a tendency to never call…ever. It's probably because he's so drugged up though…anyway…

"What do you want Rob? I don't need to talk to you." I hope he just goes away…annoying little gnat.

"Well, I heard you have a new plaything. How long you gonna keep him around? A week? Two at most? 'Cause we all know you can't stay committed for long."

"Will you just shut up already?! He isn't my fuckin' plaything ok? We've been together for months so I don't want to hear shit from you. And why do you care! What the fuck do you want from me Rob? I'm tired of your bullshit." I'm so angry that I'm goin' 95 mph on a 65 mph and I'm surprised the cops haven't caught me yet, 'cause if they did, then I'm screwed.

"You know what I want Jeff. Don't act stupider than you already are. One night, that's all I want." I'm not going to do it; I love Punk way too much to betray him. Rob can scare the shit out of people though…I swerve around cars and 18-wheelers, just trying to keep my attention on the road.

"You should know the answer to that already Rob. I would never betray Punk, you know that. I'm not a cheater or liar. I'm not like you." I said bitterly, almost shouting into the phone. I nearly avoid a collision, missing the car by mere inches.

"No need to fret pretty boy. I'll just give Scotty a call and tell him you're hurting good ole Phil. How 'bout that? He'll believe anything I say, he's just as pathetic as you," I hear him laugh and shake my head, I will not give into his petty threats, "you always seem to make the worst friends Jeff. I mean, Raven? He's been fucked up for years. CM Punk? Dude, he's been worthless his entire life," I growl and swerve off to the side of the road, avoiding a van. I need to slow down, but I really can't think of that now.

"How 'bout your good elder brother Matt? Huh, Jeffrey? Stupid idiot couldn't even keep track of his slut ex girlfriend. And Shannon? Man, that guy is as whacked out as you." The calmness in his voice almost frightens me, but I know better than give into him.

"Shut up you fuckin' cunt. You don't know any of them! You're the worthless, pathetic, whore! I fuckin' hate you Rob!! DON'T EVER CALL ME AGAIN!" I slam the phone down and throw it on the seat next to me, slowing down my speed to 70 mph.

I pick up the phone and speed dial Punk. If Rob really does do what he says then I have to talk to him first.

"Hey baby, how are you?" I hear him purr on the other side. I see a truck tryin' to come into the left lane and I glare at him and flip him off as I increase my speed back to 80 mph.

"I'm just fan fuckin tastic. Guess who just called me and almost made me fuckin' kill myself?" I hear him whisper to Matt and I pull off the highway and into a gas station parking lot. I run my fingers through my hair and sigh, closing my eyes.

"Was it Rob? What'd that ass say to you?"

"He's tryin' to threatin' me into sleeping with him. I'm so fuckin' pissed right now. He says he's gonna call Scotty and trick him into thinking I was messin' with other guys. If he does, don't believe him. I wouldn't ever do that to ya."

"Yeah I know. I'll call Scotty now. You take care babe, alright? Don't get yourself killed. We're almost there so I'll call ya later tonight." I say a quiet 'mmhm' before I close the phone and slowly make my way back onto the highway.

* * *

I sit in the back seat listening to Shane and Matt bicker over something really stupid. I called Scotty and told him everything, so if Rob even thinks of trying anything than no one is going to believe him. I can understand why Jeff is so upset, I know I would be. I hear Matt talking to someone on the phone and I'm guessing it's either Shannon or Kirby. 

Do you ever feel weird when you're not exactly friends with your boyfriends/girlfriends friends and you feel like you're in the way? That's how I feel. I know Matt really likes me being with Jeff 'cause I'm strict with him but it's everybody else. Shane doesn't really talk to me much and sometimes Shannon gets a little weird around me, but I can still hang around with him. He's a very free-living spirit just like Jeff.

Matt's huge Christmas party was really awkward. Beth was there, which made it uncomfortable with me. Everyone was drunk, but I knew that. I mostly sat outside the whole time 'cause I didn't feel comfortable with anybody in there. It's not that Jeff doesn't make me fit in; it's just that I have this vibe about people. Jeff doesn't really get along with my friends either, except Raven.

I know he doesn't like Nelson or Joe, but ya gotta know how to get along with them. He does get along with Ace though, which is pretty cool 'cause Ace is awesome. I can't wait till all of us hang out on Thursday; I finally get to go home for awhile.

* * *

Finally, after weeks on the road I'm home. I glance around the small apartment, very lonely. I don't have to spend that long here because I'm meeting everyone at a bar down the street. I hear Scott come bounding up the stairs to my apartment and I open the door before he even knocks. 

"PUNKERS!" I'm grabbed into a bear hug and smothered by his giant hands.

"Dude, calm down…" He ignored me and grabbed my hand, dragging me down the stairs. We talk about little things on the way, which is only 10 minutes, and how well he's been doing with his developmental deal. We walked into the bar, if you're wondering it wasn't my idea to come here, and I see Scotty, Nelson, and Ace sitting in the corner talking quietly amongst themselves.

We walk over and I squish Scotty against the wall, wrapping my arm around his shoulder. "Ya miss me?" I see him smile, I notice that he looks really healthy and I smile back. I'm surprised.

"Hell yah boy. What the hell have you been up to? How's Jeffy doin'?" Tonight's gonna be a long night, but right now I just wanna talk to Scotty alone.

"Old man, I gotta talk ta ya in private. Get up." I love making him so pissed off at me. He flips me off and gets up; we walk outside and sit on the curb.

"So what's so important that ya take me away from the cool guys?" I glared at him and shook my head.

"You haven't heard from Rob at all, right?"

"Nah, I told him off so he shouldn't be messin' with any of ya or else I'll fuckin' punch his face in…" I smile a little bit and find that the street is a very interesting thing to look at, at the moment. "Hey Punk…" I look up straight into his face and murmur 'hmm'.

"How well do you know Shannon? I mean I'm just wonderin' I don't want ya to think anything."

"I know him enough, considering that you're askin' me, why? Does Scotty have a crush?"

"First of all, don't talk to me like that. Respect your elders. Second of all, be proud of me. I actually like someone and not just as a one night stand thing either," he runs his hands through his face and laughs almost bitterly, "yeah and I also got no chance with him…'cause he already got someone." I put my arm around his shoulder and smile.

"Ya know I could help, I'm not the best of friends with Shannon but you can always talk to Jeff…Whatever happened to Jim? Weren't you two all over each other a month ago?"

"Kid…there are some things about Jim you need to know, we've been on and off together for years and I doubt he's gonna leave his wife for me. So just shut up about the topic and let's go back inside…you're boring me." I glare daggers into the back of his head as he leads to go back into the bar.

* * *

FoxDemonYouko590: Eh eh? Review please. 


	7. xx 07

FoxDemonYouko590: Thanks for the reviews! I subtly hinted at it but Shannon and Kirby are together…I realized after I posted the last chapter that Shannon had a dark match on Smackdown!...so he's now traveling with Phil...'cause Greg has a broken neck. Hope he gets well! Too bad he's out for a year…-frown-

P.S: I don't really care for the TNA schedules, and it's not like Raven actually ever has a match, so he's just going to show up wherever. I definitely know he had a UWF match though so yeah…

* * *

Sometimes I hate being a professional wrestler. You never get time to hang out with the people you really care about, i.e. Jeff Hardy. I've barely talked to him all week and the fact that my ribs hurt like a bitch doesn't help either. I spent two glorious days at home in Chicago, Scott and I got caught up with each other which was cool.

I'm on my way to Reading, PA with Shannon since Greg had to go see Dr. Youngblood about his neck, which may be broken. Jeff's traveling with Matt, which sucks because now I'm in a car with the person one of my best friends is in love with. I hate all this drama, drama is supposed to be for high school, but NO I get dragged into this crap. Trust me, definitely not my definition of fun. I can't wait till Wednesday and Thursday because all of us are off so I finally get to spend some time with Jeff.

Jeff has been worrying me too, which adds to all this crap. I don't think he's noticed that I noticed that he's been losing weight…a lot too. It might just be him being on the road all the time hardly eating but I just hope it's nothing too serious. It's probably him just losing his fat and gaining muscle too…I don't know it's probably me and my boyfriend instincts because I don't need his shit about me worrying over him again.

I doze off for a few minutes and am awakened by my phone vibrating in my pocket. I look at it dumbly for a few seconds then open it and say hello into it. "Ello mate."

"Hey Jeff, what's up? You still driving?"

"Yup…Well, Matt's been driving I've just been thinkin' about you all day. How's Shannon?" I sense a hint of sadness in his voice but I ignore it for now…considering it is Mother's Day.

"Aww, that's sweet. He's okay, trying to get him not to fall asleep…I've missed you a lot baby, can't wait to see ya." I groan as I try to move my body a little.

"Scotty called me, he was asking about Shan but didn't really specify why. Do you know something?" My heart sunk, I totally forgot about Raven and his problem…

"Uhh yeah. I can't really say exactly why right this moment but I'll tell you on Wednesday alright?" I see Shannon look back at me curiously and I sink back into my seat.

"S'okay with me. I can pretty much tell by now but I won't think on it too much. Have you heard anything with Rob lately? I'm surprised he has left us alone this long. Maybe Scotty's doin' his job right this time."

"He said that he'd personally punch Rob's face in if he ever did anything to us again…so I trust him to keep that promise. Don't worry baby, he's got our back." Shannon is getting anxious because I hear him cursin' at me to give in the phone.

"Ok, baby. Shan's having a fit so I'm just gonna give him the phone…I'll talk to ya later. Love you…"

"I love ya." I hand the phone over to Shan and moan as I lean against the seat, my ribs hurt like a bitch and my brain is overloading with all this crap with Raven. Personally, I hope that he doesn't like Shannon because I definitely know Shan doesn't like him. Then there's the whole thing with Shan and Kirby, they're love sick puppy dogs and I doubt they'd ever leave each other. I know Scotty said something about a UWF show with Kirby on Saturday though so maybe there might be a chance but arrgh!…this is so confusing!

Ever since he got clean his life has been more complicated than ever, considering the fact that he can't even remember what happened during the days he wasn't. Back then he and Jim were the epitome of fucked up. If you've ever heard of Jim's doormat story then you understand some of it…

"Are we there yet?" I know it's a really annoying question but I need to sleep on something flat.

"We've got about an hour left." At least someone answered me this time. I sat back and waited until I could finally get out of this car…

* * *

One more day, one more day, the mantra I've been repeating in my mind for the entire day. It's actually only 'a few more hours' but still, I get to see Phil soon! I'm meeting him in Maryland so we could all hang out with Scotty alone and talk. Phil hasn't really said exactly what's Scotty's problem is, but I get it. Scott must like Shannon because whenever Phil is around Shan he can't talk about it. I know Scotty's gonna get hurt 'cause Shan is in love with Kirby. Man, Phil's right; there is way too much drama going on now-a-days.

I hop into my car for the almost 4 hour drive. Matt's coming with me for his show and then driving with Greg and Shanny home. I get stuck with Phil and Scotty the entire time…That's gonna be interesting. I turn up Pearl Jam and bob my head to the music, focusing on the road.

--

Four hours later I'm heading into the 1st Mariner Arena, I wouldn't exactly call it heading more like bouncing into the arena. Matt probably feels like he has to put me on a leash and hell maybe he does, but I'm freaking happy! I haven't seen Phil in weeks, the Smackdown/ECW schedule is so tough, I don't even think I could do it. Matt leads me into the locker room as I skip in.

I see Punkers in the corner of the room, sleeping apparently and I can't help but smile because he's so beautiful. I walk over and kiss his cheek, seeing if he'll wake up, he doesn't. I kiss his neck and down his shoulder, I feel him flinch and groan.

"Jeffy, that you?" I stand up and give him a smug look.

"Expecting someone else?" He totally had that coming. I'm startled as he jumps up and into my arms, kissing straight on the mouth.

"I missed you!" I laugh at his excitement and nuzzle his cheek.

"I missed ya too, you doin' alright?" He jumps off of me and nods.

"My ribs hurt but it's nothing big. You okay?" I wrap my arms around his waist and nod. "We're gonna have to find Scotty after the show, he said he should be near Baltimore soon but I never know with him."

"Of course, Raven's the freakin' enigma here. Never know when he's gonna show up…" I always used to be the person to show up late and having other things to do. I was famous for being late and ever since I've come back, I rarely if ever, am late. I think it's because of Phil, he's got me so whipped, but I don't care…Man he's brainwashed me…

I realize it's been about a half an hour since Punk went to have his match and I know that it definitely doesn't take this long. I see that Rob isn't in the locker room and I run out into the hallway but I stop as soon as I turn the corner. I'm in complete shock, Rob has Phil pinned up against the wall and Phil's trying to get away but failing. I growl and run to pound Rob into the fuckin' ground but hear a collision of two bodies, neither mine nor Phil's.

I look up and see Scotty beatin' the living shit out of Rob. I go over to Phil and help him up trying not to touch his ribs. I smile as Scotty kicks Rob straight in the head and blood pours out of Robs' mouth. I'm surprised security hasn't come to break this up, especially since Scotty and WWE don't really get along well. I finally have enough and pull Raven back holding him back.

"DON'T YOU EVER TALK TO PHIL AGAIN YOU BASTARD!" Scotty spits on him and we walk back into the locker room.

"What the hell did he say to you Phil?" I see him wince as he sits down on a chair and tries to catch his breath.

"He..uh..cornered me after my match and started saying that I was the reason why Sabu was fired. And…uhh..why I'm the reason why his life is so fucked up…" He finally catches his breath and sighs, "I need a shower, help me up Scott." I take a seat in the chair that Punk was just occupying; Rob needs to keep away from Phil. If he wants me, then he can deal with me, but never will I let him touch Phil again.

* * *

Four hours into our ride to Cameron, Scotty and I start talking. Phil's in the back sleeping as usual so we try to keep quiet.

"So you still into Shan or did you change your mind?"

"I'm not sure, I think I'm just going to give up because it's hopeless…and I do have my eye on someone else." I raise an eyebrow and he knows I'm going to ask who. "Don't ask, you don't want to know…" He grumbles a little bit and I just ignore it for now. "So, you and Phil really love each other. I can see it in your eyes, you're happy now aren't you Jeff?"

I smile. "Yes, extremely. He's a gift sent down by the angels." I look back and see he's still sleeping as soundly as ever. "You know I'm not going to freak out if you tell me who you like now. Not much can surprise me anymore." I hear him cough and stare intently on the road.

"Trust me, kid. You will be, but you'll find out soon enough…" I sigh and lean back as I see a 'Welcome to North Carolina' sign.

* * *

It's been two days since I've gotten home and Phil and Scotty haven't been the best of housemates. I never knew how much these two can fight over the littlest things, like toilet paper and who gets to sit where on the couch. They act like little kids and my patience is wearing very thin. I have a couple of hours until they wake up and then I have to leave for Louisville while Punk and him stay here…that's going to be interesting. But as long as they don't kill Liger, I don't care much.

I yawn and sit on the couch and fall asleep and wait until the chaos begins…

--

I feel a heavy wait on my legs and I try to sit up but am stopped by a hand on my chest, I look up and see Scotty sitting on me grinning. I frown and groan, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Punk's not up yet, I need to talk to you." I give him a pathetic look and sigh.

"And you just had to sit on top of me right?"

"No, I just thought it would be funny."

I basically ignore him and ask, "So what do you have to talk about?"

I see him sigh and shake his head. If this has nothing to do with me, I am going to be pissed. "Punker's gonna wake up soon. I'd spit it out." I see him get off my legs and hold out a hand for me to stand up.

"I..uh, have something to tell you about you…and Punk. You aren't going to be happy about it and it's probably going to start questions like 'why?' but before you even ask anything I just want you to know that I don't want our friendship to be ruined by some stupid thing such as this…ahh, okay I'm rambling now but this is hard."

"Just say it Scotty, it can't be that bad…" At least I hope it's not, I mean what can be that bad that it has him on edge? He closes his eyes and takes a long, deep breath.

"I love you and Phil." Now, if I had been drinking something I would've probably spit it out all over him, but thankfully I didn't. I'm just in shock and I'm speechless…how does a person respond to this?

"Raven, I dunno what to say," I run my hand through my hair nervously, "…since when?"

"Awhile ago, I got attracted to the both of you a couple of years ago…and I haven't been able to stop thinking about you guys…I just needed to say it and not have it a secret anymore. I'm sorry if this does anything to your relationship…I just…I'm tired of being alone Jeff. You know the feeling when you may have tons of loved ones around you and yet you still feel alone? I'm 43 years old…I…I don't know maybe this was stupid…but it doesn't feel stupid!"

I'm pretty sure I look like a fish now, but he was right…now I'm questioning why…although I can pretty much tell why. I smile a little, "Scott you know that I wouldn't ever leave Phil. I do care a lot for you though, how could I not?" I see him put a sad smile on his face and move about a little. "Don't worry though, you're still my best friend and I don't think that'll ever change."

He looks up with a bigger smile and I walk over to him and hug him tight. "I'll still love you Jeffy, and Phil. No matter what, and if either of you want a threesome, I'll gladly join in." I chuckle and see Phil standing in the doorway.

"Hey sleeping beauty." He walks over to me and kisses me.

"You best not be touchin' my man Scott." I look over at him and see a hurt expression on his face.

"Course not Punk."

"Well I've got to get ready to leave…" I walked into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. There once was a time when I would've jumped into Scott's arms and never looked back, but now Phil has changed everything. I've always believed that someone could be in love with two people, but I've never had a chance to ever have it happen to me…So now that the opportunity has arisen…do I take the chance?

* * *

Ahh..the fresh scent of a WWE PPV…I don't know why they bother with these things. I know I'm not supposed to think like this about my own company…but ROH was a heck of a lot better at storylines…and they didn't have them dragging on for months…and months…and months.

The only good thing that's happened today is seeing Jeff. And the horrible thing is that I have to tell him that I have a tag match with Rob on ECW Tuesday…he is not going to be thrilled. I'm not either, and I definitely don't want to be near him…but what can I do? I'm a noob. Rob's an original…and I'm 99.9 percent certain Rob suggested the match...thank heavens he's leaving soon though. I'd really rather not get molested again thank you very much.

I think I'll tell Jeff Monday night though…when he's far away from me. Even though he can't admit it, I'm not a kid and I can deal with things on my own. I just need time to plan out my strategy.

Raven's been traveling with me for the past couple of days and it seems like he's more nervous around me than usual. Almost like he has something to tell me but is ashamed to admit it.

--

Being in the car with Scotty isn't entirely the most exciting in the world, especially when you're still in shock…wait let me rewind.

Scotty kissed me. Yes, you heard correctly. I was just paying attention to the road and I looked over to see if he was asleep and BAM! I felt his lips…it wasn't a bad kiss and I don't really understand why he did it…

I've tried multiple times to ask him but he's been staring out the window.

"Scotty…?" He doesn't move so I try to shake him and he moves back, almost scared that I'd hurt him. "You okay?"

"I should be asking you that…"

"I'm fine. I just want to know why. You don't have to tell me though.."

"Phil, it's complicated. I just got confused and I had to shut my brain down so I kissed you. I…didn't mean it, if it makes you feel better." I look over and see a hint of a tear fall down his face. He did mean it, but what exactly was he saying?

"Is that why you and Jeff were hugging? Do you love him too Raven?" I hear him gasp and look over at me. After a few moments of awkward silence he frowns and puts the hood of his sweatshirt over his head, trying to hide. "I hope you know that I cared a lot about you when we used to be in TNA, but now…now is just a bad time to do this Scott…"

I look over and see him staring at me, a smile on his lips. "I know Phil…but it's not just you…it's Jeff too. I don't know why…I'm not trying to do this to fuck up your relationship…I'm just saying that the both of you mean so much to me."

"We're gonna have to talk later. We're here and I have to call Jeff." I hop out of the car and get out my cell phone, walking to the side of the arena in the process. I hit speed dial and hear Jeff's voice on the other side, I have to tell him now or…maybe I could just lie to him? That would give us more problems if he found out though…

Grr…I'm at a loss of what to do, I can tell Jeff and he could freak out…or I can't and prolong the freak out. Then a light bulb goes off in my head.

Raven.

I tell Jeff that I love him and miss him and that I have to go and I walk over to Scotty.

"I need to tell you something."

"Anything."

"I have a tag match with Rob tonight and I need you to promise me that you won't tell Jeff ever. Okay?"

"What the hell Phil! Why didn't you tell me earlier! Why don't you want Jeff to know?"

"Because he'd do exactly what you're doing now, freaking out! I can handle him on my own; I just need you to promise me." I see him run his hands over his face, trying to calm himself down.

"Fine, but if he finds out from anyone else then don't blame me, okay?"

"Great."

I have a feeling that Rob might be due to give Jeff a phone call and that's my worst nightmare right now.

* * *

FoxDemonYouko: Took me awhile but I've been busy with school. I don't like the ending but I'll edit it later if I have to. Any suggestions? Comment! 


	8. xx 08

FoxDemonYouko590: Thank you for the reviews! I have to skip A LOT of time because well, school has taken up most of my time the last couple weeks…but now it's over! And the fact that I went to RAW for the Draft this Monday has had a key role in it!! McMahon isn't dead; it was filmed Sunday…for all of those unaware. I also had a holy sht moment a couple days ago…Raven is apparently married (He confirmed it on his website). Even though I've bypassed the Punk/Maria and Jeff/Beth relationship…I don't think I want to skip over Ravens relationship…I don't know yet though.

This is not my best chapter…I admit that it sucks…

P.S: Itchweeed makes an appearance (I'm going all out on this chapter because PA is my state! I also had a sign for him but my section wasn't allowed signs…BOO).

* * *

I wish there was an easier way to explain this to Jeff, it wasn't my fault… 

It was not my fault.

Rob made that match with Vince and even though I might have been his partner...we were definitely not on the same page. My mind wasn't on the match, it was on the fact of how am I going to stay away from Rob. It wasn't entirely impossible, and I was laughing inside as Burke and Cor Von were beating him mercifully.

Sure it all looked great and I know Rob was okay, but I wasn't prepared at all for the emotional beating I got from him in the hallway. It has been over a week since that incident and I have yet to tell Scotty or Jeff what happened.

I hate Rob with an indescribable passion. He's like that cockroach that will never get out of your house…and no matter how many times you try to kill it, it always comes back.

I have to tell Jeff now though, I see him in about an hour. Scotty isn't even here to back me up on this since he had to do a TNA taping. I take a deep breath and sit lean back in the very uncomfortable seat of the rental car. I was driving to London, Ontario, Canada; just a mere 2 hours away from Toronto.

--

I realize that I've been entirely too focused on the road that I didn't even hear my cell phone ring. I look over at it on the passenger seat and grunt, ignoring it. If it's Jeff, then I'll just tell him that I'm driving, but I'm hoping it's not Rob saying that he told Jeff…

Jeff and I haven't gotten a break since this Rob crap and then Scotty says he's in love with both of us, and soon I'm expecting the Boogeyman to come out and say that he is too!

I hear my cell phone ring again and I reach over and see its Jeff. I have no choice now…

"'Ello?"

"Hey baby! You ok? I called earlier…"

"I know, I was trying to focus on driving. What's up?" I really wasn't in the mood for small talk, but I needed something to keep my mind occupied.

"Nothing, I should be there around the same time you are. I never know though 'cause Matty drives like a turtle." I chuckle a little.

"When we get there there's somethin' I need to tell you…" I hated going from fun tone to a serious one, it's never a good sign when it comes to me.

"Oh, okay…does this have anything to do with Scotty?" I knew he'd ask that.

"Nope, I'll talk to you in about an hour baby. I love you." I said, trying to cut the phone call short.

"Love you too. Bye." I hung up and turned off the phone for the remainder of the ride. I sigh and see a sign 'London, Ontario' 22 miles. 22 miles until Jeff berates me till I'm emotionally drained farther than I already am.

* * *

Did you really expect me to do it? If you did, then you were dead wrong. I've decided to wait until he comes back from Portugal/Ireland…He's been gone since Wednesday and I haven't had the chance to talk to him and hopefully Rob hasn't either. Luck is for losers is my motto but sometimes I feel like a loser…I'm not even man enough to tell my boyfriend that I almost got raped by Rob, but can't you understand why I don't want to tell him? My pride has gone out the window and my confidence is shot. I love Jeff but I don't think even he could comprehend my emotional status. 

The last few weeks have consisted on me entirely focused on my wrestling and not really caring about everything else, including the Charismatic Enigma himself. I wonder if Rob told Jeff so that I wouldn't have to subdue myself to the pain. At this point a lashing from Jeff doesn't seem that bad, that could be my masochistic ego talking though.

I sigh and turn over on this very uncomfortable hotel room bed in Johnstown, PA. Tomorrow Jeff will be home and no doubt furious with me and I truly do not care. I've spent so much time and energy trying to get this to work and trying to make us the happiest couple. In reality though, we're not. We barely talk to each other, we hardly get to see each other and when we finally do there is always tension.

I don't want to say that I give up because I don't, as I've said many times before I love Jeff and Jeff loves me. I don't want to hurt him more than I have already, which is why I'll let my happiness suffer and I'll "pretend" to be happy for the sake of our relationship…

* * *

I'm in Wilkes-Barre, PA today and I must say that I'm not the happiest person alive at the moment. I happened to get a call from none other than RVD a couple days ago. He said some weird things... 

Apparently, Phil and he had a match together a couple weeks ago. That's not what bothers me though, it's the fact that Phil never told me. The fact that my own lover couldn't trust me enough to tell me that someone, who has tried over and over again to hurt him, had a match together. (A/N: did that make sense?) Rob never told me exactly what happened, but I'm thinking that he's the reason why Phil has been acting so strange lately.

Well either way, I see Phil in a few moments and I'm going to ask him about it. I got my stuff out of the rental and walked over to Matt's car, opening Punks' door. "We need to talk…" I say as I hear him mutter something and almost jump out of the car. "I'll catch up with you later Matt." I see him nod and I grab Phil's hand, leading him inside of the hotel.

"Jeff…whatever you're gonna say to me…" I hear him sigh, apparently not knowing what he was going to say next. "Just wait until we're in the room, okay? I don't want to make a scene."

"Fine." I answer sternly.

About five minutes later, we're walking into our room and I put our bags down. Now or never, I hear the voice in my head say.

"Rob called me."

"Figured that much." He said as he sat on the bed.

"What did he do to you?" I see him flinch and lay down with him hands covering his head.

"He did nothing Jeff, nothing. Now can we move on please?"

"No! I want to know why you're practically ignoring me! I'm your freakin' boyfriend! I deserve to know damnit!"

"What if I don't want you to know?! I'm a grown man Jeff. I don't need you to babysit me."

"Then act grown up," I sit down on the bed and say almost on the verge of tears, "I love you."

I hear the bed creak and his hands wrapping around my waist. "What he did…almost did to me…I wouldn't want to wish that on anybody Jeff. Especially not you, Rob is crazy, insane, psycho, whatever word to describe mentally unstable," I feel his tears running down my back, "he almost…raped me Jeff. He was so close too; he had me locked in some closet thing and I thought it was hopeless and when he started to…" I turned around and silenced him with a kiss. "I'm sorry. I've been acting like such an asshole…" I frowned and shook my head.

"It's not your fault…is there anything I could do for you? You're gonna be okay right?"

He smiled, "Yeah I'll be fine."

"You don't sound too convincing…" I doubt he will be fine, but just having him say it makes me feel a little bit better.

Punk shrugged his shoulders, "Can we go get something to eat?"

"I dun wanna move."

"I'll make you move." And he pushed me off the bed.

"Asshole…" I really didn't want to move, so I stayed in between the two beds and closed my eyes. "Jeffffffff." I opened one eye and saw him climbing on top of me.

"Don't whine, it makes you feel stupider."

"I feel fine. Now can we please go eat something?"

"Gimme a kiss and then we'll go." I felt him kiss my cheek and I groaned.

"You're mean." I opened my eyes and he helped me up. "I love you Punkers." I frowned as I realized I wasn't going to get an answer back.

(Warning: this paragraph is somewhat true…can you believe it?)

It's probably about 12am now and Matt, Punk, and I are all going to eat at the Fridays by our hotel. I'm gonna try and run in as fast as I can so I can go eat. It doesn't always work but you never know…I grab Phil's hand and swerve through all the people. I hate doing this, but when I am hungry, manners can get shoved out the window. I hear Punk saying a lot of sorry's…and I get us to our table.

"Geez Jeff…I've never seen you like this." I smile, "Order your food and then well go meet everyone."

--

It took us a long time to get out of the restaurant but it was totally worth it. I've got a couple more hours with Phil and then I'm flying back home with Shan and they're going to Philadelphia. Punks going to fly home with Matt though, so at least we have a couple days together this week. Phil has been very out of it since I talked to him this afternoon. I hate seeing him like this, but it is his battle. I just can't believe that he's hidden this from me for weeks now, but it's not like I couldn't tell that something was wrong.

I walk into our hotel room and see Phil watching something on TV. I smile and go and sit down on the floor by the edge of the bed. "So what are Matt and Shan up to?" I hear him ask.

"Mmm...nothing much. Hangin' out and drinkin'." I see him frown and turn his attention back to the TV.

"I don't get why people drink. Do they want to get alcohol poisoning?" I feel him playing with my hair and I close my eyes.

"I dunno Punkers. It's just like askin' why do people drive cars, do they wanna die?"

"Totally different things, but they're relevant. Both things can be controlled by people still do 'em anyway." He gets up off the bed and sits on the floor by me, resting his head on my shoulder.

I start to get up and Punk grabs my hand, "Where you goin'?"

"Go outside, Matt and Shan are there. I'll be down in a couple of minutes." I see him looking at me strangely and I go reach for my paint…tonight is going to be awesome.

I believe I just shit my pants folks.

You see…this is the first time I've ever seen Jeff's 'alter ego' in person, let me tell you…Itchweeed is a sight to see. We all walked a mile back into the arena parking lot and we're laughing our asses off at Je…Itchweeed. Matt and Shannon are drunk out of their minds and me, well I'm just trying to catch a breath of air.

I was skeptical about this Itchweeed character but soon I began to love him, like I love Jeff. How can you not love a grown man running around with twigs in his hair and an all camouflage outfit on? Just the thought of it makes you want to burst out laughing, but it really isn't as bad as it sounds.

I sit down on the side with my legs crossed Indian style and I stare intriguingly at him. I'm surprised the police haven't come to reprimand him, but I don't think they'd take him seriously. I rest my head on my hand and I see him coming towards me. "Was you doin' man? C'mon man!" He extends his hand out and I grab it, but he immediately lifts me on to his shoulders.

"Whoa, put me down!" I try to struggle but he's too strong. Before I know it I'm thrown into a huge pile of bushes and Jef…Itchweeed is on top of me. I glare at him and he just sits there and smiles. "Don't act all innocent."

"Les go back man." He gets off of me and I get up off the ground, still glaring at him. I see him start to skip…no, gallop back to where Matt and Shan are and I purposefully take my time. They are all starting to walk back together and I'm grateful because now I have time to think on my own.

I've been meaning to ask Jeff if he wants to come home with me in Chicago soon, but I'm not sure if he would want to. He loves being in his house and being free and I don't know if he'd like being cooped up in my apartment…

I look around and see that no one is around so I take the opportunity and sit on the side of the dirt road and a song immediately comes to mind:

_'This town is dead to me.__  
And I can't stop chasing my dreams.__  
I love you more than anything__ but  
what you want I could never be.__  
I love you more than anything__ but  
only alone can we both be free.'_

Ahh…the Bouncing Souls. Great band. I'm surprised how much that song really relates to my life now. I'm never one to say I'm not good enough so now I'm thinking, is Jeff good enough for me? I sound like an asshole for even thinking that, but Jeff hasn't had the _cleanest_ life. I know that's all behind him, but I am an asshole and I don't forget things like that. I'm also an asshole for analyzing Jeff's life…

Let's play how many guys Jeff's been with since 2001 (not in order, cause I really can't remember):

Undertaker; this one is pretty funny…Jeff doesn't even remember it and the only reason I know about this was because of Matt.

Chris Jericho; from what I've been told, Jeff really liked him, but found out Chris was only using him…I think that's when he started going down hill.

Shannon Moore; you'd figure they'd be together right? It was only a one night stand though and they never talked about it.

RVD; I groan when I even think about him. Rob was ultimately Jeff's downfall and it was Jeff who ended this one, which is the reason why Rob hates ME so much, jealousy is a bitch.

That's when I met Jeff in person though; I must say that 2003 was definitely not Jeff's year though. We never really talked much after that because he started TNA and I was in ROH, and he was definitely not going back there.

I feel disgusting now and I'm glad that no one will ever find out what I just said to myself. I'm not a nice person and I'm not about to become one. I stand up and begin my journey back to the hotel, it's going to be a long week if I keep up these thoughts.

* * *

FoxDemonYouko590: I wasn't going to end it here…but I needed to end it sometime. Comment please! 


	9. xx 09

FoxDemonYouko590: For one of my reviewers, the paragraph that was true was the whole Fridays restaurant one. The first part of this chapter is done in neither Jeff nor Punks point of view and you'll find out whom while reading it. I hate myself for this but I'm bringing up the whole Jeff did drugs thing…I'm not saying my view on this so I'm just going to go by what WWE said. Haha, I love JR's nicknames for Jeff…

On a much somber note: Rest in Peace Chris Benoit, Nancy Benoit, and Daniel Benoit. You will be missed very much and it's surreal that you are gone, I've shed tears over your family…Chris and Eddie, you are together at last…

In no way are the views of Punk & Jeff in my story related to the real Punk & Jeff.

* * *

Jeff and Phil are complete opposites. 

Some speculate as to why they even got together in the first place, I guess the phrase 'opposites attract' really does come in to play here. Their first month together was the worst, anybody will tell you that. I think they got so fed up with each other they almost broke up. As time went on, though, they grew to know each others pet peeves and what they like or dislike. That's how a relationship works, right? Either way, I know now that Phil and Jeff are meant to be together, they care about each other to the point that it's almost sickening. Anyway, back to the whole opposites thing, here are a few good reasons:

Luck; Jeff is a true believer in it. He thinks that every big break he's had during his life has been because of luck. Phil's motto is 'luck is for losers' and he thinks that luck is just something made up in a persons head and everything you've achieved in life is through hard work and determination.

Religion; This is a touchy subject for both of them so I'm not going to go too in depth with it. Jeff was raised to believe in God and Phil wasn't so therefore Phil doesn't believe in a god or religion. This doesn't come up too much and it bothers Jeff a little from what I've heard.

Illegal Substances; I sigh when I hear this come up. People know Jeff did drugs, he's admitted it. This is probably the only reason Phil was apprehensive about Jeff. Phil doesn't talk about it much but when Jeff did that one ROH show he was so whacked out that Punk was scared…afraid of Jeff? _Naww._

I've never been scared of Jeff, maybe a little startled when I first met him but never scared. Punk's not a little pussy either so Jeff must've been shitfaced.

There's always going to be one thing that is the same about them though, they are never going to let the fame get to their head. I've seen so many guys go down the hill because they thought they were the shit and they weren't. Jeff and Phil are true to themselves and will never change, hopefully because I like them the way they are.

My phone rings and I reach over to grab it and my entire cup of water spills on the floor, "Shit." I say to no one, since I'm the only one in the house.

"Gahh, hello?" Not a very friendly welcome, but I'm a little frustrated.

"What the…? Scotty you okay?" Great, just who I needed to hear from, Phil Brooks himself. I've had enough of him inside of my head…

"Fine, you just caught me at a bad time."

"Wait…you're not _doing_ anything are you?" I chuckle and say, "No Phil. I just spilt my water all over my floor…" That kid has a dirty mind…worse than me!

"Haha, well that sucks. I was wondering if I could come crash there for awhile. I have a house show in Columbus tomorrow." (A/N: Raven lives in Atlanta, GA)

"I guess…Jeff knows right?"

"Why would Jeff need to know? I don't answer to him…" I sigh, "Punk that's not the point."

"Matt and Jeff are traveling together and I'm bored, I need someone to hang out with."

"Grr, fine. Be here soon you asshole." I hung up the phone and started to clean the mess on the floor.

--

Jeff was at a crossroad in his life.

He could've gone down the gloomy, dark path and gave into the drugs and booze, but instead he controlled the fear and took over his life again. Jeff did the right thing, sure he got fired from the WWE, but that was the greatest thing to happen to him in years. Phil admires this about Jeffrey; the fact that the 'Rainbow Warrior' can conquer and destroy anything that stands in his path. Jeff is an amazing, unique, and just over all different person. He doesn't remember important dates, he doesn't care about time, and he believes in an alternate universe called the Imag-i Nation.

I think Phil and he get along great, if you look through all the bullshit, then they truly are the perfect couple. It's been a couple of weeks since my confession to the both of them and I haven't talked to them much, that was before Phil took over my house.

They both have a have a spot in my heart but I realize how much they care for each other, so now I'll sit back and relax and let life come as it wants to.

Jeff called me from Richmond awhile ago; he asked if I wanted to come by the Imag-i Nation for the next couple of days. I kind of didn't want to but since I spent last week in Chicago (which bummed Jeff out), I figured I might as well have a good time. Matt and I have a taping in Charlotte tonight so we're going to drive back to Cameron which is a good 2 and a half hour ride. I have a match against Monty (I refuse to use Marcus…) tonight and I hope I don't get seriously hurt…Whenever I say shit like that karma always has to bite me in the ass…Anyway, I've got a match to do.

--

Karma is a total bitch tonight. My head is killing me, he dropped me right on my fucking head and I've got the sickest headache in the world right now. I'm probably not going to sleep tonight and considering we're pulling into Jeff's driveway, I'm gonna get attacked by Hurricane Hardy…oh boy.

"I'll get your bag dude, go and lie down." I hear Matt say.

"Thanks very much." I managed to groan out as I walk up the stairs and open the door. I see Jeff in the kitchen doing something so I go and sit on the couch.

"You okay?" I hear him mutter softly in my ear.

"My head is killing me…I'll be fine." I somehow am able to answer.

"Alright." He kisses my head and I lie there for awhile, not really having the energy to get up. A little while later, I hear Matt talking to Jeff and saying goodbye.

After that, my memory eludes me.

--

Everyone is speechless. The locker room has never been this quiet before…

Chris Benoit, dead.

Nancy and Daniel, also deceased.

It seems so far away…so not real but it is…

Vince gathered us around the ring and told everyone, at first I didn't believe him; I don't think anyone did.

I haven't stopped crying since, I don't think anyone has. Not even 24 hours before I was mad over the fact that I wouldn't be facing Chris and now I feel guilty that I was even thinking like that. I was asked to say a few words that would air over the three hour edition of RAW, and I agreed. What I said in that video was just what I'm thinking now. To know that Vince just gave up his entire storyline to Chris is beyond belief…To cancel a sold out show is even more beyond recognition. I'm getting goose bumps now as they tell us more information.

They tell us that they think it was a double homicide-suicide and that just makes every one even more on edge. I miss him, I may not have known him that long but I know he was an amazing person. He was the definition of respect and dignity.

At least now he and Eddie are together in some place. It's just unfathomable how everything you thought you knew could change over night, literally. I still can't believe this is happening, this is a day I would've never seen coming. Just last week he had a match against Elijah and now…he's gone. I look up see not one person without a tear in their eye so at least I'm not alone. I also see Jeff come over to me after talking to a few people and I can't imagine what he's going through. Jeff has worked with Benoit a lot more than I have…

I hope that it isn't true that he killed his wife and son and if it is, I have no clue what anybody's going to do or say about it.

I jump when I feel Jeff wrap an arm around me and lay his head on my shoulder. I shiver, not really enjoying the human contact. I feel a tear go down my face and I don't really bother to wipe it away.

"Jeff…" my voice is hoarse after hours of not saying anything.

"Yeah?"

"I…don't know. Do they know anything else?" He shakes his head and I sigh, rubbing my hands over my face.

"I don't believe this Punk, it's too surreal. How can someone kill a child? I don't understand…and Chris of all people! It doesn't make sense."

"None of this shit makes sense Jeff; you're not the only one feeling like this." I say harshly.

"I'm gonna go talk to Matt…see you later."

"Yep." I'm acting like a total, ungrateful bitch but my mind is so overloaded with things I can't even comprehend anything anymore.

What's worse though is that tomorrow I have to go out there and entertain like nothing is wrong, but how the hell is that supposed to happen when I can't even compose myself now? I have to clear my mind before I start to get angry, so I walk out of the locker room and go down the hallway, hopefully to find a quiet place so I can think properly.

* * *

I see Phil walk out of the locker room and I sigh, right now all I want to do is go find him and tell him I love him but he's acting like an asshole. I think that he's just trying to comprehend everything, but so is everyone else. Last week, Phil was going to have one of his dreams fulfilled, having a match with Benoit. Now…Chris is gone and I don't know what to think of him.

Cold blooded murderer?

Never. Not many people knew Chris but he would never just kill these people for laughs but still even if there were problems at home, couldn't he have gone to someone? He killed his son…Daniel had an entire lifetime to look forward to and now it's ripped out in front of him. Don't get me wrong, I still have the utmost respect for him but I can't imagine if I had a kid and murdered him with my bare hands.

I notice that I'm starting to cry now and I leave the locker room to go find Phil. I choose a hallway to go look down and see Punk behind a box of stage equipment.

He looks so beautiful, even with puffy red eyes and shitty hair, he is like my angel sent down from Heaven. I sit down next to him, not really caring if he wants me to or not. "Philip Brooks."

"I'm not in the mood, Jeffrey." Hearing my name coated in malice sends shivers through my body.

"No one is Punk but you have to talk to someone…this is a shitty thing that just happened but keeping it inside of you ain't gonna do anything but make it worse." I feel like Dr. Fucking Phil now…way to go…

"What am I supposed to say Jeff? Everybody has said what I wanted to say, I just need sometime to think but since you're here already I guess you can stay." I take that as an invitation and hold him in my arms, kissing the top of his head.

"They're going to basically ignore the Chris situation for ECW/Smackdown…they want us to go out there and wrestle like nothing happened…I don't know if I can do it."

"You're strong Phil, of course you can. If you want I can come with you…I don't know if I want to go home…I wouldn't know what to do with myself."

"Jeff Hardy, not knowing what to do with himself? That's horrible," I see him look up at me and smile for the first time all day, "I love you Jeff…I don't know what I'd do without you…"

"You wouldn't have someone to lean on in your times of need."

"I know," he looks down the hallway to see if someone is coming and notices the weird look on my face, "I just don't want to gross-" Before he finishes the sentence I lean down and kiss him passionately.

"Yo dudes! Do that somewhere else, jeez." I look up and see Kenny Dykestra…err Dykstra staring down at us.

"Could you please stop staring, ?" As soon as I heard Punk say that I wanted to laugh but I kept my composure until he walked away. "Asshole…"

"Disrespectful is more like it. No wonder why he's a jobber."

"Jeff! Phil! Where the hell are you guys? Grr…" I hear Matt down the hallway.

"Guess quiet time is over, you ready to go back in?" I ask, knowing full well he isn't.

"I'll try, I'm doing better than some of the other guys…" He stands up and helps me up and we go walk back into the locker room, not really knowing what's going to happen next. At least we have each other, which makes it a little better.

* * *

FoxDemoYouko590: I won't have another chapter up for awhile so bare with me, it has been a tough week for wrestlers, wrestling fans, and families. 


	10. xx 10 FINAL

Every time I look back at my writing, I see how much it sucked…so this is going to be the last chapter. I learn more every time I sit down and write something, and this is the product of such a thing. Jeff and Punk will forever be in my heart. Thank you to my reviewers who have more patience than I ever will, hopefully.

* * *

Here it was, the moment we've been waiting for, the RAW Fifteenth Anniversary Show. I see a lot of people, a lot of legends…and it's thrilling how I'm apart of this now. It's exciting how one day I will be history and the rookies will be looking at me as a legend, but that's not to sound pigheaded.

Jeff has really been looking forward to this, to seeing all those he hasn't seen in a long time. Trish for example, they haven't seen each other for years and it's all smiles when they see each other backstage. There's Lita of course, but they're still friends and see each other on a monthly basis. Then there's RVD, who I am even surprised to see since he walked out, not that I'm complaining too much. There's Scotty 2 Hottie, Al Snow, and Steve Blackman; Jeff knows them all and I'm jealous.

"Yo Phil!" I look up and see Jeff waving me over to where he's talking. I weave my way around the clusters of men and women talking, avoiding anybody who seems garrulous. I make my way over to Jeff, standing a tad closer than I normally would but not enough to freak anyone out. We've been careful not to show anything that would resemble a relationship in the locker room.

"Oh man! Is that our very own ECW champ CM Punk?" I hear Rob and pull him into a hug. I really missed him these last few months, even with our differences. I've managed to see him as a really good, but troubled person.

"Hey man, you look good." I say, but not paying to attention to anything else he says. I see Scotty in the corner; I was honestly expecting him not to show up. "Hey Jeff…I'll be right back." He nods and I begin manuvering around people once again until I reached my best friend.

I ran over to him and took a flying jump into his arms like the masculine person I was.

"Punk get off me! I'm not as strong as I used to be!" I laugh and lose my balance, falling gracefully on my ass.

"I missed you so much Scott! You haven't called or anything! I was starting to get worried."

"Whoa Phil calm down! I've been calling Jeff every week and he was supposed to tell you…but he's been busy too." I nodded, understand what he meant since Jeff has been taking care of Matt since his injury.

"So what's been up? Any new people in your life?" I ask curiously.

He shook his head but without the despair that it normally held. I smiled and hugged him once again, bringing him back to where Jeff was still talking.

"Hey Jeff, after the show I think the three of us need to catch up." I saw him nod and I grinned.

"C'mon Scott, there's thing to do and people to harass." I suggested with a mischievous look in my eye and his eyes held the same gleam as we made our way to Elijah and Matt Stryker.

We all mingled for awhile and when the fans left and the curtain fell I had a feeling all was right with my life. Through everything our grand family has been through, I know we will continue to climb to the top. I finally achieved what I wanted in life, a mark. I made history but more importantly I kept a relationship alive for one year. A year that has flown by so fast that I wouldn't want anything to change. Jeff and I are exact opposites but I believe that when you put two people with differences together, things happen and the invisible magic starts. Ideas are put into your head and you think 'Is this who I really want to spend the rest of my life with?'

And as I look over at Jeff, my boyfriend of exactly one year, which I am not afraid to gloat about, I know the answer is 'Yes.' 

_/When we were two brothers forever through the dark and light__  
We had our fights against the world, against each other__  
We traveled in the night__  
So many roads, so many shows together__  
Far apart we grew, isolated but still together/_


End file.
